I have been struggling with this complex, unexplainable, terrible, wonderful, indescribable thing called love for quite some time now. There is so much I don’t understand and so many feelings that come with the territory that it is almost unfair how love affects a person. Why would anyone want to ever fall in love? So simple, yet so complex of a question. Love is beautiful and painful. Love is mysterious and yet crystal clear. Love is unexplainable, but at the same time you know exactly what it is. You don’t need words to describe love. Love will do all the talking for you. Love is completely straightforward, and yet it is the most confusing encounter that you will ever come across. So what is it that keeps us coming back, holding on, pushing forward, and entangling ourselves in this beautiful mess which is love?
The strength that love possesses is that of the entire animal kingdom coming together all at once in a glorious celebration. Strong and powerful. Glowing brighter than the stars. Love brings that strength to us and it either holds us down or releases us into the wild. So what do you do when love ties you so closely to someone that you see no other option than to endure the storm and hope you come out of it holding the hand of that person whose heart you’re so entwined with?
Love is the hardest thing I have ever had to encounter. As the storm raged on, all I felt was him slipping away and I couldn’t do anything to stop it. It all happened so fast. The storm everyone dreads came over us like an ocean, ready to break open, not a warning in sight. The intensity was blinding at times. Before I knew it, he was gone. He disappeared into the unknown without the slightest hint of a goodbye. All of sudden the love I had so strong inside of me had no place to go. It was like I woke up in the middle of the desert without a map or any type of direction. I was just there… alone. All I have is a photograph and memories. Memories of how amazing it was when you were here. I’ve never felt more alive or appreciated. When you opened that door to something more… it wasn’t like I planned to fall completely in love with you. But that’s the way love works, isn’t it? It hits you without warning and takes you down with it no matter how hard you fight. You can’t win. I fought endlessly.
Love is a battlefield that leaves us all scarred in some way. Love presents how beautiful things can be and how messy they can become. Love is the most difficult to deal with it, for it makes you do things you never thought capable. Love drowns you in memories and tears when your heart gets crushed. All that runs through your mind is why would you ever leave me feeling like the world just imploded around me? Love makes you want to ruin your entire life for someone else. Through the tears, it’s that love that will ultimately keep making us stronger. Like it or not, it’s what pulls us through and makes us more of who we are than we’d like to rightfully admit. Memories may haunt us for the rest of our lives and never knowing if they’ll ever come around might hurt more than the feeling of a broken heart; but if there’s one thing I know, it’s that there is no feeling like love. Love is crazy. Love brings out the weirdness and excitement in us all. It’s beauty can’t be matched. Love is fearless. Love is your favorite song and sharing a bottle of wine. Love is conquering the unknown day in and day out in hopes that you will live to fight another day. Love fighting even when fighting seems impossible. In the end, love is all you will ever need. It just might take a few unbearable, painful broken hearts to see it.
Love is that star in the sky that has been there all along, you just may not have noticed it before.